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OK, so – as singer-actor-comedian Denis Leary might say – let me get this straight: We’re escalating the Chinese capture of a benign, $150,000 underwater U.S. drone into an international incident?

Why in the world is this such a big deal? The Associated Press took off its impartiality cap and called the incident one of the most serious between the U.S. and China in years. Really? Yes, and here’s why: 

In case you missed the headlines, the Chinese navy on Saturday seized an unmanned, underwater U.S. Navy glider in the South China Sea. China brazenly claims that enormous body of water as its sovereign territory.

Civilian contractors for the Pentagon reportedly were operating the drone to conduct oceanic research, collecting unclassified scientific data about 57 miles northwest of Subic Bay in the Philippines. The area of operation is in international water about 550 miles southeast of Hong Kong.

The only rational explanation for making international hay out of this watery rhubarb would be that mighty oaks from little acorns grow. The incident is an acorn, and we don’t want any more mighty oaks growing in that part of the world.

Besides, it’s OUR stuff – just give it back.

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First lady Michelle Obama is about to be evicted from the White House, and she is leaving on what many Democrats would view as a happy note as she disses the incoming Republican administration.

“We are feeling what not having hope feels like,” Mrs. Obama tells millionaire TV personality Oprah Winfrey in an on-air interview.

Well, she couldn’t be further from the truth. New hope (not her spouse’s kind) already started spiking when — contrary to the lame duck first lady’s myopic opinion — more than 61 million voters in the presidential election earlier this month watched as Donald J. Trump beat Hillary Rodham Clinton by an Electoral College landslide in the race for the White House. Much of the republic’s hope barometer went through the roof. Makes you wonder: How many of the “deplorables” now hope the Trump-hating, self-centered Mrs. Obama chokes on her depressing, less-than-inspirational words?

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New Jersey resident Cancetta Talucci espouses my kind of consumption philosophy.

“Eat everything you see,” the woman from Cherry Hill advises, hastily adding, “but (do) not overeat.”

That’s sage advice, considering Ms. Talucci just turned 102. Her longevity must ride in her family genetic code – she has a younger sister who’s 99.

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A new report by the Washington Examiner, citing statistics from the Center for Immigration Studies as well as the Urban Institute, puts the population of criminal illegals in the United States at 820,000. More than 688,000 of them are carrying felonies on their criminal records.

Can President-elect Donald Trump build the wall and effect his deportation program any too soon?

It’s not a rhetorical question – the answer is “no.”