A few observations about some television advertisements, many of which ought to go away:

Taco Bell’s latest product promo shows a grandpaw and a grandmaw in the front seat of their car, chomping down on their ChickStars. And then, grandmaw turns and “flashes” grandpaw. You don’t see anything because she lifts the front of her blouse as she is facing away from the camera. But it’s the powerfully suggestive image that’s jaw-dropping incredulous. Especially if you’re 16 or younger.

The trailer for the new “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2” is just ignorant. It’s a money grab by actor Kevin James, who seems to surf all the way to the bank on “stupid.” It’s difficult to believe there was a “Mall Cop 1,” let alone a sequel. This is dumb-stupid slapstick “comedy” at its worst. Who goes to such movies? And here’s an even scarier thought: Are these movie-goers old enough to vote?

What sense does it make for Dyson to employ a British female with a thick King’s English accent to do a voice-over in her pitch to sell American citizens the company’s latest vacuum cleaner?

If WKRG-TV in Mobile reports its news, weather and sports so well, why does station management insist on promo air time to make its on-air professionals appear in those goofy spot ads touting the merits of their reporting? It’s like relabeling Harvard University as Ding Dong School.

Is it a JAG-yur? Or is it a JAG-whar? No matter how you pronounce it, the king of luxury sports cars still costs as much as $100,000. (Notice I didn’t parrot every car dealer in the world who would have said “only” $100,000.)

Why does what you are served at Red Lobster never live up to the succulent, juicy dishes portrayed in the seafood chain’s TV ads?

Sorry, Xeljanz. Hands were made for working and holding, not talking. Feet were made for walking and running and kicking — tiptoeing is for big sissies. You wasted a lot of money on a meaningless commercial.

Believe me, Marie Osmond might have tried every diet on the planet. But 50 percent of those viewing her Nutrisystem commercials — we males — have never had a “little black dress” moment. Marie would do well to put her self-serving, egomaniacal mouth on a diet and do something more worthwhile besides earn her easy money.

Buick’s “that’s not a Buick” ads are smart and effective. Hats off to the creator and the scrip writers.

Is Hardee’s marketing Thickburger El Diablos? Or is the fast-food chain promoting burger-mistress prostitution? Hardee’s presents; you decide.

If eXmark is going to sell riding mowers on TV, shouldn’t they at least give us an MSRP?

Sprint has hit the nail on the head. We have to put up with too many people in life who are “stupid rich.” We cater to way too many entrepreneurs and carnivorous corporate hyenas who squander their obscene profits by sweeping economic responsibility under the rug. The Sprint art-auction ad is disgusting to watch but right on the mark.

Sorry, Ford. Equating the quality of your brand to the confidence of a guy throwing steaks at hungry lions is too much of a stretch. Get us out of the zoo and back on the road.

Is anybody but me sick and tired of the Allstate voice-substitution ads in which you see a woman speaking, and her voice suddenly goes deep baritone? It’s time for Dennis Haysbert to get a new gig, and for Allstate to develop a new and appealing market strategy.

Hey, Travelosity! Ditch the armless gnome who hijacks David McCallum’s voice as the gnome rides a wave on the front of a surfboard. It’s stupid. It’s unbelievable. And worst of all, Travelosity, the gnome compromises your credibility.

It’s time for Progressive to put Flo the overly lipsticked clown out to pasture before her commercials grow any more ridiculous and jeopardize her chances of ever working in the advertising industry again. Heck, it might already be too late.

Volkswagen sets the ad-message bar high with its 30-second spot on the five new models of the German car company’s VW Golf. Smart commercial. Easy to watch.

The Aflac duck is still top drawer. But the continuing use of the one-legged stork pose on the local gym’s exercise mat is now cliche. Please, Aflac, stop employing the stork pose in your ads. We hate the stork. We love the duck.

Actor Rob Lowe — both versions of him — ¬†finally got the boot by DirecTV. And not a moment too soon.

We should give thanks every day that God created “mute” and “go back” hot buttons on our TV controllers.

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